What Fresh Hell Is This?

Although the RI Department of Labor's unemployment voice mail system is impenetrable, apparently someone actually reads emails! As a result of my electronic rants early last week, on Wednesday, Feb. 17, I received a lengthy, heavily-accented voice mail, which, while largely incomprehensible, did let me know that I could call the Tele-Serve line on the upcoming Sunday to request payment for that week. This left the first two weeks of the month still unresolved, a problem that could be handled by filling out something I'd get in the mail, according to my tentative interpretation of the recorded message.

Surprise! On Thursday, I received not one, not two, not three, but FOUR envelopes from the Department of Labor and Training! Eagerly, I slit the envelopes and extracted the contents. The first missive comprised two sheets of printed instructions on the use of the Tele-Serve Automated Payment System, with a large yellow sticky note clinging to the front. Referencing the previous day's voice mail, the note read:

Karen,
I have tried to call you on ###-#### no answer. You will recieve [sic] paperwork on BYE 11. You are to put that paperwork in a folder till you return to work and earn at least 592.00. Until then remain collecting on BYE 10.
Call this Sunday on BYE 10.
Fill out payment questionares [sic] in seperate [sic] mailing for weeks you have missed.
Mail Back for payment.

A bit snarky, I thought, particularly the accusatory no answer. Apparently I was to wait hopefully by the phone for the call that I should have expected, rather than running around who knows where. Oh, well. . . I moved on to the other envelopes. Two of them were, as the sticky note warned, questionnaires. One referenced the weeks ending 2/06/10 and 2/13/10, and the other, oddly, referenced the week ending 2/20/10, for which I was to call the Tele-Serve line. Oooooookay . . .

The final envelope held the promised/threatened paperwork for BYE 11, and it was a jolt. Four sheets total, including a Work Search Policy (get out there and pound the pavement, and be prepared to prove it!) and a questionnaire headed KEEP THIS FORM UNTIL YOU RETURN TO WORK FULL TIME (a modified version of the weekly questions regarding work search and back-to-work status - seems to be an exit questionnaire). The other two documents are the problem - an apparent Catch-22 that says I've earned enough money to qualify for unemployment benefits until January 2011 (Feb. 15 Benefit Rate Decision), but denying me those benefits until I have returned to work and earned at least $592 (Feb. 16 Claimant Decision, and the sticky note cited above).

Logic tells me that I wouldn't be filing for unemployment if I had returned to work - isn't this about the fact that I haven't returned to work??? So how am I supposed to earn $592? And if I were back in the ranks of the employed, wouldn't I have filled out the exit questionnaire in the packet and gone about my business?

Twelve percent of Rhode Island's population is out of work - one of the highest unemployment rates in the nation. That means that 12% of the population is at least as confused and frustrated as I am, and certainly explains why it's not possible to speak to a human being in under 90 minutes after having redialed over 40 times. I've just gotten through, only to learn that no one is available to take my call, since it's just past noon on Wednesday, when the call center closes down. So I'll just copy this rant into another email and see what happens.

Here's a suggestion, O great and powerful Oz - uh, Department of Labor and Training! You should consider hiring some of the highly skilled tech workers (like me) who are suffering out here in the void. Then you can send some call center functionaries out to experience what they've created - oh wait, they have a union.